It was a tough day for Junior Aiden Berger when he received an email from GroupMe stating that his account is being suspended due to complaints from fellow peers about his activities on the app, specifically texting “you up” to old members of old group projects. When talking to his previous lab partners, they all shared a common opinion; they want to get away from Aiden Berger. “Aiden and I were chem lab partners freshman year. He shit his pants during the practical and he couldn’t go to the bathroom to change because we only had 15 minutes to finish our titration” explained Junior Monica Davis. Monica explained how Aiden was a less-than-ideal lab partner to work with. “I had to do almost an entire lab by myself because Aiden was pulled out of the lab to be questioned by the DEA. He also pocketed a ton of benzene solution for some reason.”
Although it seemed like a good idea to have Aiden suspended from GroupMe, this only caused Aiden to find new ways to contact his old group members. One of his previous groupmates reported finding a brick thrown through his dorm window with a note attached to it reading “your skin is so soft, it would make a great facemask. Yours truly, Aiden.” Another groupmate complained about the comments he left on her Onlyfans page. “I appreciated the premium subscription, but I was uncomfortable when he commented my exact GPS location in the comments.”
Police are currently trying to arrest Aiden after he was seen tampering with an Emory emergency blue light phone. If you have any information about Aiden’s location, please contact EPD immediately.
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