It’s a story as old as time: the hopeless romantic, the automated message funded by a Super PAC, and the awkward in-between of one person waiting for the other to make a move. We’ve been there. YOU’VE been there. Here are some clever responses to help keep the passion going beyond 270!
1. “Hey baby, let me be the male in your bowl-letes.”
It’s straight to the point, but so it was when you both first met. If you feel that the opportunity could have an October surprise, this may be the one.
2. “Jefferson wrote that we’re entitled to life and liberty, so why don’t you pursue my (hap)penis?”
This will get that girl in your POLS 190 class fiending over you.
3. “I don’t know about the president, but I want to make you my precedent.”
This might work, so long as the bot you’re messaging has a dominance kink… or perhaps a thing for legal statues.
4. “The electoral college is SO complicated. Could you explain it to me?”
Like a moth to a flame, this too will bring your overly political Prince Charming straight into your grasp. Just be careful, as this might evolve into a breakdown of The Godfather, Wolf of Wall Street, or any other highly acclaimed film.
5. “Hey girl, this election has me thinking about how blue I’ve been without you. When I first saw you, I was red in the face. Now, nothing can Trump my loneliness. If I could vote for anyone or anything, it would be to get us back together. We could have a big White House with a yard and picket fence. I hope that this message polls us closer to what we once were. Tell your Mom I said hey.”
Last chance resort. Only use this for the most desperate of measures.
6. “Let me hit.”
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