How Young is too Young? The R***y’s Package Store Investigation

You’re probably familiar with R***y’s package store. If not? You probably haven’t sold your soul to the Goizueta business school or abandoned all your morals for a spot on Eagle Row quite yet. 

R***y’s has been a community staple, serving freshman girls, Emory athletes, and desperate frat pledges for decades. R***y’s has maintained its popularity over the years due to the fact that they do not appear to care about the fact that most customers are grossly underage. But how far are they willing to go to make a buck?

I took a personal trip to R***y’s in order to conduct some research of my own, and absolutely not to blackout off Svedka on a Thursday. 

I donned my favorite Emory class of 2023 shirt and sweatpants from my 2019 prom and pushed through the hefty glass doors into my glorious alcohol heaven. Greeted by a friendly face at the counter, I grabbed a basket and began perusing the aisles upon aisles of that beautiful, sweet hangover juice. 

Once I felt like I had enough handles of shitty alcohol to tide me over for the night, I walked up to the register, knowing damn well the only identification I had on me was my EmoryCard and my 18-year-old driver’s license. Palms sweaty and hands shaking, I placed the bottles onto the counter. 

Next thing I knew I was handing over daddy’s credit card and taking my happy ass out the door, alcohol in tow. 

But this brought about more questions than it answered. Although I typically get asked if I am still a high school freshman, I think I was showing just enough boob to maybe get away with being a high school sophomore. To test the limits of the R***y’s establishment, the only obvious next step was to break into the Emory hospital, steal a newborn and let it go into R***y’s alone and purchase alcohol. 

And I’ll be damned, it worked. 

If this investigation taught me anything, it was that there are few places left that have such a strong sense of community and purpose as R***y’s. Laws be damned, this was a man and an institution devoted to having a good ass time. To the boys. To early-onset alcoholism. To Emory.