Thanksgiving is quickly approaching, which means internship season has officially begun. Goizuetta students are once again scrambling to find old white men to serve coffee to this summer.
As most Emory students know, these old white men are extremely picky about who serves them coffee. Applicants must have an extremely high GPA, solid extracurriculars, and extensive community service involvement, all of which directly correlate to the amount of time it takes an intern to get from Starbucks to the office. These requirements are so competitive, Business School students have organized a fight club to determine which students are alpha enough to even apply for a coveted internship position.
The underground program was allegedly started by Mike Hunt, a 6’4 ex-high school linebacker who only came to Emory because he knew he’d be bigger than everyone else. “I just really needed this internship, man. If I don’t get something, Dad’s gonna kill me,” says Hunt. “So I figured, if I can fight them for it, I’ll win, right?”
According to an anonymous source, Hunt gathered a group of students to pressure all potential internship applicants into joining the club, threatening to sabotage their exams if they refused to participate. Our source identified several club members, however, all but Hunt refused to speak, insisting that they “do not talk about Fight Club.”
Mike Hunt is in hot water with Emory’s administration, which is currently deliberating the best way to deal with the issue. Hunt has requested that his punishment be to “fight the snitches.” The Goizueta Business School has declined comment on the matter.
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