Election season is heating up on the Emory campus with a hotly contested race for all 862 bureaucratic seats.
The elections are an important force on campus, as they determine whose resume will be sufficiently padded for various internships. President and famed bureaucrat James Wagner has stated “The elections really bring out all of the social climbers, future PTA board members, and even those select few who still have faith in representative democracy.” Candidates have been furiously spreading their message and getting their name out on campus via awkward hallway interactions, Microsoft Paint designed flyers, and Facebook posts.
This barrage of election media has sparked the political fire in freshman Sarah Lin. Ms. Lin, like many other voters, has already began a rigorous cost benefit analysis of every proposal she has heard from each candidate, and has ranked the experience levels of each.
Lin noted that she feels especially confident about her choice of Brian Rothman for College Council Vice-Secretary, as the candidate “had great ideas for solving a massive budget pitfall” and “really knows what the job requires, he’s been in the field for a while.”
However, the decision for a few other positions, Harris Hall Vice-President in particular, are still up in the air for Lin, and many other voters. Harris Hall VP has long been used as a political springboard to incredible influence. Past Harris Hall VP’s have gone on to be Junior class representatives, quality assurance in sports-writing at The Wheel, and President of the United States. They all note that it was Harris Hall VP that gave them the first taste of power. This, of course, means that Harris Hall residents have to assure that their pick for VP is the right one.
The race is extremely competitive, as both candidates seem to exemplify true leadership.
John Wilson, of the third floor, has extensive experience. According to the Wilson campaign, he organized a “pretty sick rager” this one time in his Long Island home, was secretary of his class his senior year, is “a cool, personable guy”, and wishes death upon America’s enemies. Wilson also reportedly urged that he would “guarantee a fun freshman year,” an issue of paramount concern to the Harris community.
Jennifer Chen, of the fifth floor, has a similar repertoire of talents. Chen has never missed a day of piano practice, always double checks for whether she actually attached a document in her emails, and successfully resolved a conflict between two warring paramilitary organizations in Latin America. Some of Chen’s proposals include “movie night!” and “weekly brownies,” which some Harris Hall residents have been especially receptive to. Some residents have expressed concern in the level of political capital that movie night would require, but the Chen campaign urges that it can be done.
As Election Day approaches, Sarah Lin and many other students will continue to grapple with the tough decisions that must be made for student leadership.
When reached for comment, the former Harris Hall Vice-President was unavailable, as he was busy courting potential donors out in the Hamptons for his upcoming College Council secretary campaign.
-DJ
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