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- When they ask what you need help with, be as vague as possible and say things like “I just want to see if this flows” or “read my entire ten page paper and make sure my commas are ok.”
- Make it into a fun contest! Give them that book you definitely didn’t read and tell them that if they can boil it down to a third grade reading level for you, you’ll buy them Blue Donkey.
- Writing tutors are people too and, just like anyone, they get self-conscious under pressure. Instead of breathing down their neck or, like, actively participating in your own education, put them at ease by scrolling through Insta as they read your paper instead!
- If this fails, keep them on their toes by arguing with them. This sentence is redundant? You fucking thought. A good writing tutor would know that it is absolutely essential for you and your 500 word count to repeat every single point in three different ways. Your tutor will grow so frustrated that they’ll practically beg you to let them re-write your entire essay.
- Boil water in the Writing Center’s tea kettle and threaten them by holding it over their head.
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