As Thanksgiving break approaches, we at the Emory Spoke are filled with excitement to step outside of the classroom and enjoy life outside college. We know Emory students feel the same, so we ventured around campus, asking students what they’ll be doing over break.
“What am I gonna over break? Do you want me to be honest?” Freshman Braxton Wheeler questioned. “Honestly, I’m just excited to have my bedroom to myself, so I can just be by myself and fart in private. If I’m being honest, I’m not that close with my roommate, and we’re not at that place in our relationship where I can just fart in front of him. I go to the bathroom to fart and I eat at the DUC a lot, so, yeah, honestly, just farting.”
Junior Grant Richardson stated that he was excited to see his girlfriend again. “I can’t wait to get back together with my girlfriend for thanksgiving break. I just hope I don’t procrastinate and forget to break up with her before she drives me to the airport. Or, maybe I should do it after. I always love a ride in the Range Rover her dad got her.”
“Oh, I’m going to treat myself and just destress at home.” stated sophomore Greer Waters as she reflected on her stressful past week. “I’ve been so damn busy with midterms that I’ve had to put it off my weekly mental breakdown. I know, I’ll save it for thanksgiving dinner so I’ll piss everyone off, and then my family won’t all come to our house next year.”
Freshman Jeremy Hanes confessed his excitement to sleep in. “Dude, I’m so excited to get a good night of sleep. My roommate, Braxton, keeps me up all night because he farts while he sleeps. Like so loud.”
As you can see, Emory students want to do many interesting things over break. But, the writers here at the Spoke just want to get the fuck away from these kids.
Be First to Comment