Emory College Hosts “Draw Your Future” Event

Goizueta Business School’s massively successful “Draw Your Future” event encouraged B-School students to manifest their successful (wealthy) futures. Students’ expressive crayon illustrations depicted grinning stick figures surrounded by piles of cash, flirting with ‘hot’ secretaries, and ‘replacing daddy as CEO.’ According to Goizueta Dean Gareth M. James, the event increased the self-confidence of attendees by 12 percent and reduced the partial withdrawal rate from B-Law by 45 percent. 

Hoping to replicate the event’s success and convince Emory College students that their degrees (and massive amounts of debt) are worthwhile, the college invited students to the student center, gave them some crayons, and told them to have at it. Below are some of the drawings produced at this event.

“I win a Pulitzer, like Jericho Brown. Did you know he’s a Professor here? I’m not sure if you know what a Pulitzer is, but it’s like, really important.” English and Creative Writing, 26C

“I study worms in the Worm Lab. I record the number of times that they wriggle before they die in an Excel spreadsheet. I like worms. They’re cute little guys. I also like Excel spreadsheets. If I’m a Good Boy, they might even credit me in the article they publish about worm squirming.” Biology Major, 24C

“I don’t know, man. Maybe I’ll study fossils? Or monkeys? I know a lot about monkeys.” Anthropology Major, 25C

“Anguish” Computer Science Major, 24C

“When I grow up, I want to stop thinking about climate disaster.” Environmental Science, 24C

“I’m an English teacher. Or professor. I don’t care. I don’t care if anyone shows up to class, or if anyone is awake. That’s not the point. I want to stand in a room and talk about books. I want to start talking when they unlock the classroom door and I won’t stop talking until the lights go off. I want to talk about books until the sun blows up. It’s like in Northanger Abbey. Catherine Morland really loves books, but that fake bitch Isabella just reads to look cool. She’s all quantity over quality. But Catherine? She could read one book over and over again all her life. I wouldn’t go that far, but—” [Caption edited for space] English, 24C

“They all worship me now.” Religion, 27C