A generous donation of five whole dollars has been anonymously granted to the Emory Art Department, which will now finally be able to afford a second paint brush and perhaps, even a tube of paint. Emory has long upheld a slightly confusing tradition of displaying art through its murals and museums while simultaneously refusing to teach it, but that may all change with this exciting news.
The Spoke was unable to contact Emory’s visual arts majors for a quote on account of I don’t think there are any, but biology major Maggie Weber is particularly excited. “There’s a reason I wear my hair short and it’s because I’ve been cutting it off to make brushes,” she responds, “now all we need is a classroom and chairs and paper and pencils and charcoal and we’ll be ready to go!” Word is not yet out on who gets to use the communal paint brush first, but since the old one, much like the art building itself, has gotten a little crusty, many are already putting their hats in the ring.
Emory students are not the only ones that are getting all hot and heavy from this news. Word has it that many SCAD students have already begun their transfer paperwork to what is now thought of as “Emory School of Arts”. This development is unsurprising considering that SCAD is, like, really stupid and bad.
EDIT: A representative from the visual arts department has sent us a statement; “Stop suggesting that we can afford paint now, you’ll still have to buy your own.”
I have some old toilet brushes I’d be happy to donate. Would that help? Whom should I try to contact?