On a campus full of (blindly) ambitious pre-professional students, Brandon Barge is frustrated at the lack of career paths that could complement his self-described “well roundedness.” In denial of his mediocrity, Barge has courageously set out to create a pre-9-to-5 track at Emory. Prerequisites will include critical experiences such as chatting it up with strangers at the water bottle filling stations and communicating with his friends exclusively by conference calls.
“My friends say I lack purpose, but I do have dreams in life,” claimed Barge. “I want to reenact at least one scene from “The Office”. I want to have a commute that takes me through downtown traffic so that I’ll have to listen to NPR to calm my road rage. And most of all, I want to sink my life savings into a midlife crisis car. I want it all.” In response, our reporter asked him why he didn’t just apply to the business school. Barge scoffed and said, “I still have morals.”
When prompted with a question about the boredom that is often associated with a desk job, Barge dismissively answered, “So what if my entire career doesn’t have any inherent meaning? At least I’ll have a better chance than Alice the future cardiologist over there of paying off my student loans before I die.”
The first pre-professional event will be held via Skype to discuss how pre-9-to-5-ers can reclaim small talk about the weather.
Be First to Comment