Dear President Sterk,
Hi, hope you’re well. I’ve got a funny story to share with you.
So someone asked me how I was doing today, but, instead of responding with “Good, how are you?,” I couldn’t stop myself from saying:
“Remember in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets towards the end when things were getting bad and the professors didn’t know what to do they were afraid that they’d have to close down Hogwarts and send the students home for the rest of the term and nine-year-old me (who was still in the womb basically and was anticipating his Hogwarts letter when he turned 11, btw) was like OH NO YOU CAN’T CLOSE HOGWARTS!!! because what about the adventures and the magic and the spells and the potions and the magical creatures and quidditch and the castle grounds and tea with Hagrid and it’s EFF-ING HOGWARTSSSS!!!!!!! YOU CAN’T JUST CLOSE HOGWARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like of all the things you can’t do, letting Slytherin win the house cup is number 1, and closing Hogwarts is number 2, like you just can’t do that it’s illegal it’s a crime where’s Dumbledore he’ll make sure this doesn’t happen it’s against the law you’ll go to Azkaban to the dementors I’m sorry you can’t I’m sorry. Well, fast forward a decade, it’s 2020, I’m out here living my best life, you know, going to Emory (which is the closest I’ll ever get to Hogwarts, I know it’s a downgrade but I’m doing the best I can with what I got), I’m in my second year, I’m on spring break, living it up, enjoying the warmer, sunnier weather, when I get this email, right. So it turns out that the Emory professors and administrators have been conversing off-screen this time, and they’ve decided, amid growing fears and concerns for health and safety and blah blah blah, that this time, in this reality, students ARE going to be sent home, the decision’s final, closing procedures are already in place. So now here I am, it’s one a.m., way past my bedtime, but can you really expect me to sleep right now? I’m watching the rest of the semester slip down the drain. Am I about to be quarantined (get it, chamber?)? Like, the fuck? And I can’t do a thing about it. Unlike what I used to believe, I don’t have the magic in me to summon some basilisk-coronavirus-evilness-slaying sword out my ass and put an end to all this. I’m not a wizard that slays dragons and transforms mice into tea cups. This is the real world, this is real life, where we can’t just wave a wand and wish pandemics away. We can wash our hands, we can wave instead of shaking hands, but there’s no spell that can save us. So you want to know how I am? Well, if I was upset when a bunch of random fictional students (most of which didn’t have any screen time) were about to be sent home but weren’t, you can imagine how I feel when I’m one of those students and the consequences of cancellation aren’t magic or love potions or unicorns or fake shit like that; they are very real: not seeing my friends for 6 months, not getting to see professors and mentors, having summer internships canceled, not having club or performance group meetings, missing out on school traditions like Dooley’s week, no more social gatherings, replacing time with my friends with time with my stuffy family, forfeited tuition/housing/dining $$$, not being able to re-watch “An Extremely Goofy Movie” with my friends, having to get a college education from a fucking laptop, etc etc etc etc etc. That’s how I feel right now: not so great. Honestly I could really use a caps appointment right now, but let me guess, that’s closed too?? Fuck.
Things kind of suck right now, not going to lie. Long story short, kinda suckish. But I will say this, if Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets taught me one thing, it’s that there’s hope for the future. The least you could do, the VERY LEAST you could do, in light of recent events, in light of my rapidly declining sanity, the VERY VERY LEAST you could do is this: https://youtu.be/hvBc9Q1NuRw
Thanks!
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