Point: Go back to India!
Greg Schetzman – AEPi Brother
Hey, fuck you man, go back to India!
Counterpoint: I’m from Boston
Sam Khattak – Sophomore
For your information, Greg. My name is Sam, I’m from Boston, and my parents are fucking Pakistani.
Go back to India? Is your world map divided into places where white people you know live, and then just three crudely drawn circles of Africa, India, and China for everyone else? I guess they didn’t teach geography in Dix Hills Elementary, did they asshole? If you’re that culturally ignorant, maybe you should go back to Montauk.
Got a problem with Indians? They gave you Diwali, Holi, and Tikka Masala. What has AEPi done for me lately? The AEPi rage cage is not exactly a treasured Emory holiday. And no one appreciates the shitty 80s rock you force on everyone in a half mile radius of your house, a house, that wouldn’t meet building codes from 1932.
Think about the situation we’re in right now. This is an intramural flag football game. It’s 2 P.M and you’re drunk, yelling obscenities, and chanting U.S.A. I am trying to keep a safe distance. This really isn’t looking great for one of us. You’re about 15 years away from being kicked out of a little league game for dropping the f-bomb.
I mean, have you seen the projected race demographic of America for the next three decades? I really hope you don’t hate minorities as much down the line as you hate them now Greg, because I have some bad news: in thirty years, white people are going to be just 49% of the population. That’s right, you’ll be a minority. If your response to losing to non-whites is getting belligerently drunk, then prepare for a lifetime of alcoholism.
I could ask Emory to stand in solidarity with me, but like the FBI, I don’t give a shit. Because even if I went to India right now you’re still losing this game 21-6.