The Kitchen: Now known as the Dobbs Distancing Table, or the DDT. Dangerous chemical who? Now, this fun abbreviation refers to your chicken repository away from school, minus the angry old man that shoos you away from the gluten free…
The Emory Spoke
Sources confirm that sophomore Jordan Blumenthal, philosophy major, has been doing a surprisingly abysmal job concealing the fact that he is masturbating during his weekly 2:30 zoom class. Blumenthal, who sources have noted is a novice at utilizing zoom, affirmed…
After being in extensive talks with many prospects during the offseason, Emory University obtained Gregory Fenves from UT Austin in a blockbuster deal. Fenves, who served as president in Texas for the last five years, will begin his work at…
If you hadn’t noticed already, we’re all home now. And while you’re a bit mopey because you ~won’t get to spend your last semester of college with your friends~ and that you’re ~entering a workforce propped up by a crumbling…