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Enterprising Business School Student Unknowingly Becomes Pimp

According to sources at the Goizueta Business School, Lindsey Ackerson was shocked to discover that her new startup mobile app “eBae” was being used for prostitution. Ackerson sat down with the Spoke to explain what happened.

“I was thinking ‘people spend a lot of money to find sexual partners- why can’t there be an app to quickly connect those people?’” said the third-year student, who apparently had never heard of prostitution. “Thus, eBae was born with the help of a few investors with a passion for improving social mobility for women through employment opportunities.”


Courtesy of @_Ebae on Twitter

The app, billed as a combination of Venmo and Tinder, was intended to be used to encourage more equitable dating spending between women and their partners. In attempting to empower women, Ackerson realized she had a problem on her hands.

“This app needed to be a safe space for women. It was important to me to protect women as they went on dates set up through eBae,” said Ackerson, oblivious to the role of pimps in the sex trade. “I decided that I would take to the streets in my dad’s old 1978 Lincoln Continental to ensure that women were getting paid back for picking up the tabs on dates. Those who didn’t pay up were in a world of trouble from me and my guards.”

Ackerson said at this point things began to spiral out of control. Known simply as “AK Bae” on the Atlanta streets, she began visiting local gentlemen’s clubs looking for women who may have felt intimidated to go on dates before eBae. The app’s user base grew, but Ackerson began to make enemies.

“Big Ross didn’t take to eBae too kindly. We had a bit of a turf war over whose girls could go on dates to downtown, but I always kept an iron fist on the DUC,” said the entrepreneur turned small-time crime lord.

Then, it all fell apart. After an Emory PD raid on the laundry room where Ackerson cleaned her money, Ackerson regretfully shut down the app and gave up accidental pimping forever.

However, Ackerson said she is excited about her new business prospects. “Rock Buddy,” a revolutionary new app for Android and iOS that will allow amateur geologists to trade crystals, is planned for an April release.

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