Daily Routine of Roommate Unaffected by Snow Days
Noting that his roommate still hasn’t left the room to his knowledge, freshman Shahil Singh told reporters this morning that the recent snow days have not disrupted the daily routine of fellow Dobbs 203 resident Brandon Kent.
“The Dorito prints on his keyboard are still quite fresh,” Singh told Spoke reporters at the impromptu press conference. “I must’ve been asleep during his last period of activity.”
According to Singh, Kent’s usual routine of sleeping throughout the day with the occasional break for Reddit or 4 a.m. cooking utensil infomercials has proven to be surprisingly resistant to the disruption brought on by the recent snowstorm that has all but paralyzed the Metro Atlanta Area.
“I’m not sure he knows his classes are canceled,” Singh said. “For all I know, he might not even be enrolled at this school.”
“Regardless, it’s clear that his natural disaster survival skills are unmatched,” he said.
While Kent wisely conserved his energy and body warmth inside the climate-controlled confines of room 203, other Atlanta residents ventured forth only to languish in their cars on frozen, gridlocked roads.
The deadly black ice was not an issue for Kent’s daily commute down the ladder to his desk and back, Singh noted. “His only obstacle seems to be the slick coat of ramen-Yogli-Mogli emulsion on his bed’s ladder steps, which has been there since September anyway.”
The mattress-situated nest of fabric and microwavable food crumbs rumored to contain Kent could not be reached for comment.