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Crime Report 11.8.16

Crime Report 11.8.16 On November 3 at 9:30 PM, EPD responded to reports of marijuana use at Dobbs Hall. Upon arrival, EPD was informed by students that marijuana is just…

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Metamorphosis 2: Electric Bugaloo

When Randy Griffith awoke one morning from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed into a monstrous cockroach in his extra-long twin bed. He lay on his armour-hard back and saw,…

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Total Pervert Old Enough to be Her RA for Crissake

According to sources in Longstreet-Means Hall, Jennifer Steele’s new serious boyfriend Jonathan Baxter is a senior, holy shit. Jonathan, who intends to work at Deloitte next year, because good Lord…

Sleep has been impossible for Charles, especially when the couple begins blasting Huckabee podcasts.

Dobbs Hall Wearied By Couple’s Bible Studies

Dobbs Hall- The occupants of Dobbs Hall have become increasingly irritated following several nightly sessions of Bible study and worship by fellow hall-mate Jedediah Thomas and his Sister-in-Christ Ruth Hamlin.…

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