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Crime Report April 25, 2017

On April 15 at 1:09 a.m., EPD responded to a call regarding a non-forcible entry burglary on the first floor of Alabama Hall. An Emory student told officers that someone…

Crime Report 11.8.16

Crime Report 11.8.16 On November 3 at 9:30 PM, EPD responded to reports of marijuana use at Dobbs Hall. Upon arrival, EPD was informed by students that marijuana is just…

Metamorphosis 2: Electric Bugaloo

When Randy Griffith awoke one morning from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed into a monstrous cockroach in his extra-long twin bed. He lay on his armour-hard back and saw,…

Total Pervert Old Enough to be Her RA for Crissake

According to sources in Longstreet-Means Hall, Jennifer Steele’s new serious boyfriend Jonathan Baxter is a senior, holy shit. Jonathan, who intends to work at Deloitte next year, because good Lord…

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